41 lines
4.3 KiB
Plaintext
41 lines
4.3 KiB
Plaintext
1 3 0 1 99 A Really Short Book
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By Us
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1 3 0 2 99 Introduction to the
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land of East Fricana
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"Hello there, F. E. here. That's Famous Explorer to you. I'm going to be your guide through the sizable savannahs and gigantic jungles that make up the land you call East Fricana.
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I call it "Boopsie", myself -- named it after a girl I once... Well, that's another story.
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1 3 0 3 99 I've been an experienced Explorer for a long time now and I've learned a lot over the years. I've seen everything from the great Zezeboo Desert to the great, greasy, green Limpopo River. I'm kind of an Explorer's explorer, you know?
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So now, you want to be an Explorer? You've come to the right place for all the secrets of savanna survival and jungle journeys."
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1 3 0 4 99 What is an Explorer?
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Exploring is not an easy job. In the Hero business all you have to do is fight ferocios monsters, rescue dainty damsels from dragons or deliver defeated knights from dungeons and stop mad Magicians from unleashing terrible powers and destroying the world. Big deal! An Explorer must face malicious mosquitoes, fend off bodacious babes
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1 3 0 5 99 from decadent lost cities who mistake you for the legendary missing Master of the Word and solve cunning and complex puzzles to avoid traps built with technology far beyond the capabilities of the civilizations which constructed them in order to find incredible artifacts of unbelievable power and put them in a museum (or store them away in some unmarked government warehouse).
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1 3 0 6 99 Pointers for Potential Explorers
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"F. E. here. Just thought I'd share a few to scouting the savannah and suggestions for jaunting through the jungle. I remember the time when I discovered the Great Lost City of the Brass Bikini where I.... well, uh, where was I? Oh yeah, anyway, if you want to be an experienced adventurer like me, you've got to learn how to get along in the exploring biz.
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1 3 0 7 99 For instance, always observe local customs -- many tribes have customs worth observing. I mean, the way those women don't wear, well, you know what I mean. At any rate, try to obey the villagers' quaint rules and never annoy the locals. While there may be a few tribes you can still favorably impress by flicking your bic at them, some will spear you for using magic in front of them and others will counter your fire with some
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1 3 0 8 99 flame magic of their own, and then where will you be?
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Also, never underestimate the local inhabitants. Remember, they've been local for a lot longer than you've been lost there.
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Finally, keep a wisecrack handy for serious situations. You never know when you might get caught in a goblin pygmy trap just when twenty of the little buggers are converging upon you for a late night snack.
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1 3 0 9 99 Just whip out your wit and recite some rapid repartee and you'll really earn their respect. They'll tell stories about you long after they've gnawed your bones. Reputation is an important part of being a famous Explorer."
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1 3 0 10 99 Famous, Fearless Fighting
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Explorers
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When a Fighter turns Explorer, it's time for the local flora and fauna to flee! The Fighter is accustomed to getting his way, and everyone else had better stay out of it. Just because he's in a foreign country with an unknown culture, unable to speak the language and unlikely to make friends or influence people, he won't let this undermine his
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1 3 0 11 99 overconfidence. However, there are a few ground rules which it would be well for the prospective Fighter-Explorer to keep in mind:
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1. It is considered poor form to kill an innkeeper (or for that matter, a restaurant owner, waitress, or other innocent townsperson). In general, you might do well to only attack creatures which attack you, or are other wise overtly hostile.
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1 3 0 12 99 2. If you don't know what it is, discretion is the better part of valor. Some creatures may be tougher than they look. Keep your weapon sharp, your shield handy and your running shoes ready. A good offense may be the best defense, but a shield on the arm is better than your arm in a sling.
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1 3 0 13 99
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The End.
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